Pain & Purgatory

when i was little they used to punish me
hide my toys and take away the tv
as i grew older this corrective behavior
is what i began to favor
pain can be a savior
pain is a message from your body and mind
help me because you are yet still alive
for the dead feel no pain anymore…

next the cross offered penance
sean say 2 hail marys and
4 our fathers…
for all those cusses in your sentence
i still remember the d.a. shaking his head at me
as the judge read off my sentence
then it was the penitentiary
those facilities are dismal corners of hell
with its cells and smells
broken dreams and clenched fists
dead fish

it is wrong to lock a man
or woman in a cage
some are in a prison of dollar bills
as am i
despite all of my rage…
i imagine God…
though he loves me
won’t just let me into heaven…
then i recalled one of my
confirmation class lessons…
sean some are held in a place we call purgatory
where they suffer for their sins
their souls made to contort and worry…
is that the next step of my story?

i wept and wept
my hair grew unkempt
many a night went un-slept
tis why i fear God
and rightfully so
because once it is lost
one can never win back their soul