Mano

 

You always told me
that “me dista la mano”
when no one would help me
but don’t you give your hand to a slave
just before you place theirs in shackles?
that bitch was a witch down to the cackles
oh the tears i cried
visitation of my children by a criminal denied
but if i had the slightest infraction
they would take my privileges or freedom away
i still don’t know how i am here to this day
God it can only be through your grace
Though i pleaded and pleaded with stef
She became consumed with evil
and obsessed with revenge
All i could do was struggle on
and pray my genetics would overcome
such misguided ways
We will never know though
because she denied paternity
For all i know Addie was probably Walter’s anyway…
Yet still i pray
but i don’t say amen or hey man…
i just hold my head with pride
and go my own way
Why did all this happen to me?
Racism, a jezzabel spirit, poverty…
Homelessness, blindness, and addiction…
all conspired to rob me
Of the things other parents get to see
This revenge of stef’s has much cruelty
What could even pay for this?
50 thousand?  A boat?  A benz?
The mental suffering is immense
The ongoing trampling of my rights so intense
not too mention under false pretense
If what i suspect is true
& that day i was threatened with a shotgun
i had been lied to…
i don’t think anyone can imagine how i feel
like someone put out a cigarette on my heart
by stabbing with their 9 inch heel
My adoptive mother was even worse
only reason she took me in was to fatten her purse
turned out i was a life insurance scam that
got bungled
i suppose i am thankful God
thank you for saving me from Charlie
For that i feel humbled…
It always seemed strange to me
how my scar came to be
Charlie dropped me?
That cannot be…
Once irma became demented
God showed me the truth painfully…
Just like when he gave me his vocation
and told me i must “go live with your brother”
Back then i didn’t even believe in God
i was an atheist confused and full of wonder
i know now that my life is in your hands
You taught me to fear you
to stay positive and be mindful of you
when i make plans
Which is one of the biggest differences about me they say
People see the big smile on my face
as i think about tomorrows today