it’s ten o clock
do you know where your children are
i don’t
they could be near
or they could be far
i often wonder if they see me
in my cars
my little stars
i even love addiekins even though
she was walter’s
it’s that unconditional love
that is missing
from stef’s home
and the cooking from her kitchen
no soul food
or soul too
just boo hoos
and i can’t call it christianity
more like zealotry voodoo
cause the bible doesn’t teach one
to be cold
and not love your children
it talks about going forth
and multplying
that living comes through
making amends and forgiving
i would never expect to have a plate
or a seat at the table
at thanksgiving
but maybe if i had been assured
i could see my grandchildren
i wouldn’t stoop to snitching
but then i called bella and she said
“no daddy i want you to do it…”
i thought about all my brainwashing
my upgringing as a g in harlem
i looked at the man in the mirror
but that would make me a snitch
these white racists
made me say f!ck those beliefs
just screw it
if being a “true” gangster
means killing them
i ain’t with it then
let’s give a chance to the “system”
but something tells me
if i am looking for justice
i better keep wishing man…
What a sad poem for a man to write after supporting children for over 15 years.
ReplyDeleteIs there no justice?
The somber conclusion is the following.
3 children. 2 I raised as infants. 1 I was never allowed to meet.
Why?
I was given various reasons. Mental illness. Drug addiction. But my somber and frank assessment was poverty, hate, and racism were the actual true reasons. Mixed with a focus on revenge.
Current status.
Addie
Location: Unknown
Birth Father: Walter
Phone number: Unknown
Daniel
Location: Illinois
Birth Father: Undetermined (but genetics of Lupus rules me out. Stef has no Lupus. I often joked child was the "immaculate conception". There was one sexual encounter near the time of conception. Though it was frankly out of the window in my view. Frankly the child does not look like me at all. I would love the actual paternity of the child to be determined. But, Stef is resistant to do that.
Hmmm. I wonder why.)
These people seem more concerned with money and wealth than feelings and respect.
Can the child surpass the parent here?
Phone number: Unknown
Isabella
Location: Unknown
Birth Father: I claim this one! But ironically child never allowed to meet me.
Not even once.
Reasoning?
Simple petty revenge.
This will lead to Stefanie Hixon being damned to hell. Along with Jenny more than likely. Just my personal observation.
Phone number: Known but blocked. She appears to have been used as a pawn by her mother to protect their wealth and prevent the obvious loss in a painful bitter lawsuit. Very sad state of affairs.