Peace, Love, & Empathy

 

Peace?

Well some think it the opposite of war…

but peace is the absence of war…

the lull in hostilities

A time to explore possibilities…

A time to create life…

To refine ones senses, sensibilities, and abilities.

In this world of hate, anger, and strife…

Love.

Love is the true opposite of war…

for as war destroys life 

Love creates it…

Love is never asking why…

Love wounds…it scars…it is fleeting…

It can send one tumbling head over heels…

It can leave one's senses reeling…

Empathy!

Now this…

This is an important idea to me!

For many lack it, and are blind to see…

The plight of others.

So, so, many lack humanity…

That i came to view it as a tragedy

Observing the greed and malice of others 

Who cared not who they betrayed…

Why my adoptive siblings even abandoned

their own mother!

As mine did with me...

When i was only a baby...

 

But once the cavemen developed empathy 

a truly beautiful thing happened you see

The one who stole the fire from the gods 

Was not selfish &

shared his discovery with the rest...

& soon there were new developments...

 

From cooked food, to cave art,

& yes even entertainment!

We began to fashion instruments 

life became a lark...

Music played hours into the night 

long after it had become dark...

 

Humans began to care for each other

when one became hurt in the hunt 

they would tend to their injured.

This led to farms, and towns, and villages

Big impressive cities all around…

Roads, and ships, and planes...

our explorations knew no bounds…

But now look at us…

Staring at screens scared to stand 

too close with one another…

What a blunder.

Selfish, egocentric, and vain modern wonders...

Most can’t change a flat tire...

forget about setting a broken leg…

Why i imagine where this will lead

is nowhere good 

but many will bleed

and cough and wheeze

and be made to bow on their knees

But not me.

i see things differently…

The Prison of Heaven & it's Demons

 

So after the mortuary

i ascended to the pearly gates

but just as i saw them 

i encountered angelic guards...

i called on God in vain

the ones who grasped me said

it was "far too late"...

i was then sent to heaven’s prison

A terrible place 

you may know it as "purgatory"

when i first got there i pleaded with them

the demons of heaven

that i knew i was not free from sin 

but that i had learned several lessons…

they merely gleefully smiled and said:

"let us now begin your first torturous session!"

it seemed that God had already given them 

a process, a procedure, a method, 

of how to reward 

my aggression & indiscretions…

i was forced to relive my deeds

of my guilt there was no longer question…

the soul's sight is different

one can see

more than what you can

with this mortal vessel

this i had known from prior experiences with death and…

yet still i was amazed

how even the most minor

and major sins

had all been displayed and arranged

 

they mocked me

and said i had known 

that what i did was wrong

but i would still see God

i just had to pay for my sins

they just didn't know for how long…

Pain & Purgatory

when i was little they used to punish me
hide my toys and take away the tv
as i grew older this corrective behavior
is what i began to favor
pain can be a savior
pain is a message from your body and mind
help me because you are yet still alive
for the dead feel no pain anymore…

next the cross offered penance
sean say 2 hail marys and
4 our fathers…
for all those cusses in your sentence
i still remember the d.a. shaking his head at me
as the judge read off my sentence
then it was the penitentiary
those facilities are dismal corners of hell
with its cells and smells
broken dreams and clenched fists
dead fish

it is wrong to lock a man
or woman in a cage
some are in a prison of dollar bills
as am i
despite all of my rage…
i imagine God…
though he loves me
won’t just let me into heaven…
then i recalled one of my
confirmation class lessons…
sean some are held in a place we call purgatory
where they suffer for their sins
their souls made to contort and worry…
is that the next step of my story?

i wept and wept
my hair grew unkempt
many a night went un-slept
tis why i fear God
and rightfully so
because once it is lost
one can never win back their soul

A Sleuth of Bears

i am allergic to liars...
i break out in hives, police officers, and bullet wounds...
bird on a wire...
bending the spoon...
some people snap...
i crackle pop...
i broke that ramshackle lock!
we had just broke up  
and i had locked myself out...
i kicked down the door like a cop...

that was pretty much when my downward spiral began
it only takes once
never again
until the next time
until the last time
i kicked that coke can down the road
until it and i landed in the gutter
and yet still further i fell...
once good friends
now slammed their doors
others i was forced to ignore
kept changing my number
i think i went through about 3 or 4

sometimes i am honest to a fault
the heart on my sleeve
is the product of many a nosebleed
many a life i have grieved
once one loses it
their soul can not be retrieved
i long nightly for reprieve
oh what a tangled web is weaved
when one chooses to deceive

meddler said that
liars are like bears
in the woods of life...
sharp claws...
long fangs...
and if you are not careful...
they will eat you alive!

Dien Bien Phu

 

What you need to understand
is i had been carrying your
surname in my heart
like wounded knee
had to do with research i do
after i made dean's list
and honors society
at my university...

it's the name of the place
where they erected
a statue to honor captain morgan
when i found out you were selected by God
to oversee fixing sonja
i said to him
"say no more then..."

i hold that name just as sacred
as Dien Bien
Phu
it's funny never been there
but that place inspired me too
i never meant for things to go cross with you
i wish us to be as one not cloven in two

Yes what i will reveal is true
i had your name in my mind for 9 years...
without ever having once met you
maybe if it ever got like that
you might fall then too...

Uncle

Do you have job openings?
Or vacancies?
Are you looking for just one candidate?
Or do you hold a primary?
What would it take to come vet me?
Are you like a hotel?
Do you service multiple people…
who spend the night?
That’s how my ex was…
Once i knew i felt a fright…

My uncle..."killed himself...
over some bitch...
who didn't want him..."
that phrase played over
and over in my head

man it became such a problem

he wrote that b4
'they' cloned him
and 'they' switched him out
i still remember his mixtapes
before most people
knew he had came out

what a fire line
i play it all the time
it got all up in my head
made me wish
i was already dead
to me that is real rap
the kind you can't get
out of your skull cap...

i kept trying to shut the door
the door couldn't be closed enough...
i remember you had done that
i just used to laugh
& say "dear it's already shut...
i know how you get..."
cause it hadn't happened
to me yet...

i wonder now what did that to you...
made you afraid
& made you blue...
you called the tv the "idiot box"
i might as well have put it away
or kept it locked
it served no purpose
in your presence
it had raised me to adolescence

hard to reach maturity
with origins clouded in obscurity
how do you know where you are going...
if you don't know where you come from?
but that i accept
and it's not truly what i run from

ending up distrusting boys
as much as women
perhaps even moreso
a torso is a torso
and a bottom's a bottom
and i suppose so
at the core i became rather rotten

butterflies replaced by heartache
makes me wonder why i even partake
in all the pleasantries
and appearances
when all i seem to end up with
are grievances

The Piner

 

i grew up in harlem
the lowest of the low
so when i got vanna
i fell it's true i know
that's what i called
this ill white honda
that i got one time
as a loaner
for sonja

sonja was a car
you could hear from
very far
she wasn't fast
like layla
yet still a neck breaker
now the weed was greener
but it had stopped coming in jars...

i think it had just become
too much of a hassle
back to the future
at this point i felt like
i had graduated
but there was no tassle
ironic cause of the chronic
a dropout on the rock
no fraggle

so i quickly began
to take on the mantle
various roles and responsibilities
tolls and liabilities
my sins grew to a litany
i had stopped worrying about tiny tim ya see...

or the opinions of most of my peers
colleagues or role models...
thinking myself the best judge of a situation
no tontos...
just me the lone ranger
trying to stay out of danger
or am i just ebeneezer
surrounded by fakes, riff raff,
and skeezers...
i liked it better when it was
143 on the beepers...

i had become a man
i had no word for...
for some women be spinsters
but old single men
generally
are considered worth more
because of what i yearn for
a piner for more of the times of yore...
longing for a love gone long before
wishing there was still romantic tales and lore...

Wandering Beast

What hope do I have?
i don't have a talking clock
walking candle stick
or a cute teapot
i'm just a beast
guess i gotta get over it

no beauties
i scare them all away
be my guest at my castle?
"no way!"
they say...
no matter what i pay...
no brunettes in blue dresses
no white weddings...

flowers...
chocolates...
promises you don't intend to keep...
a lover who does not shudder
at my paws, claws, and feet
a real beauty queen

"this mirror will show you anything..."
sadly i am ever ugly
running from my reflection
in my lonely tower...
searching every hour...
miles of land i scour....
forevermore?

Bad Stroke Of Luck

“Yo tengo mala suerte con las amistades…”
that’s how she would put it.
and though i would try to explain.
all my pleas would go in vain.
and it would just happen over and over again…

the neighbor girl said:
“she has problems with her memory…”
but mine worked too well
i would remember how she raised me in hell
a little corner i called “the crucible”
where i learned how to sell
my soul for more than lumps of coal
but i bet the average person wouldn’t
dare to walk a mile in those worn soles…

i have fond memories of how she would
tear it down in Lerner’s, The Limited, Macy’s, and Filene’s too!
So many bags
me and my “brother”
would often carry one or two…
The stares she would get
when we would reach the steps
of our project stairs…
i think the hungry eyes were begging her
to just stop parading her wares…

But she never did!  
She even bought a house upstate
in a sleepy ole town
Of that i am truly proud…
But it also makes me sad
about how her life turned out
Now she can’t buy a thing…
Forget about trying on minks…
After her stroke it became difficult
for her to talk or think...
she could barely sound out the words
when she would curse me…
“You are not my son get out!”
so i packed my stuff
and went another route…

Devil May Care

 

i feel kinda like
i'm in an ant colony
or a large Petri dish
just a little guppy
in a big school of fish
it's a hive mind
and it's sorta like slime
it falls all over your stuff
and it just gunks it up
and it clogs up the pipes
and there's no more flying kites
only rain parades
on top of the lightning brigade
no more charging up hill
or delicious refills
or elbows leaning
on top of my window sill
no more long goodbyes
no more worthless evenings...

no more lonely nights

staying up

staring at the ceiling

wondering why...

or bizarre alibis
just handcuffs cutting
no more apple pies
you could slit your wrists
or just babysit
you have a choice
hurry up & pick!
you must make it quick!
my what a healthy appetite...
are you black or are you white?
i am just a spic...
who can hack and attack
i am not a vic
or a hypochondriac
more like a vampire
with a thirst that never expires
cause i can get higher
all i need is a lighter
kumbaya
make a bonfire
of the vanities
oh how humanity
left me robbed of my sanity
happy lies and fake laughs
i always was bad at math
most are such liars
guess i gotta go & grab the pliers
heaven beside me...hell within...
i am honest with myself
cause there is no one else
in this personal hell where i dwell...
devil might stare
as i wither grow old...
as i shiver turn cold...
fortune favors the bold...
devil may care
i am a devil's nightmare
devil may cry
that is why
i
live the life
devil may plot
and devil may hop
on top of your back
or shoot at you
from the back
of a black Cadillac
all cause of your wallet
the syrup
& your phat stack
of flapjacks
and Benjimans jack
so it's best keep it brief
or turn a new leaf
either marry the m.o.b.
or get a new job
eating corn on the cob
living high off the hog
don't get stuck in the bog
or choke off the smog
the vaccines give you cancer
there's no easy answers...
it might work to mask up
no face means no case
but now they retina scan ya
it is such a disgrace
yahoo i see you
it's their latest voodoo
or you might call it magik
the matrix so tragic
it's taken me years in order to hack it
i caught you lacking
while you thought i was napping
now your blood is leaking
right through all those napkins
naw i'm only playin
you know what i'm saying?
but is anyone ever JUST KIDDING?
do you get the message
that i am relaying?
sender
receiver
i played follow the leader
& now i got blood on my sneakers
watch it don't you dare
fuck with my speakers
the bass, the fade, or the treble
or any1 of my levels
or it is straight to hell
where i will send you
come in meet the devil

Ruby Slippers

 

i used to look outside
my barred window
and wonder
if i could run
where would i go

somewhere away from this
cold, cold, place
somewhere i would not
feel shame
to show my face

somewhere over the rainbow...

some make believe land
i don't understand
why there is so much hate
and man kills man

i long for a world
that's filled with love
but all i found
were guns and drugs...

somewhere you'll find me...

pigeons fly over
the project roofs
they fill me
with a jealousy
since there is
no escape for me

if those rats with wings
can fly
well why then
oh why
can't i?

And the dreams that you dare to dream

will my children return to me?
their smiling faces i long to see
i suppose it was deemed not to be
i pray to see them somewhere
heavenly

that's where you'll find me...

The Long Way Home

 

 

i could probably make it
home in half the time
but i don't like driving
in a straight line...
so i take the long way home...

i take the long way home…

i pump some tunes
and play the music loud
they kinda know me
around the town

i take the long way home…

i take the long way home…

When i’m stressed &
have a troubled mind
it helps me decompress
and gets me back to feeling fine
its way better than shooting up
or sniffing lines…

So…

i take the long way home…

i take the long way home…

i wonder if that's how you
met your fate
bored without the curves
that make your pulse pound
and test your nerves...

i take the long way home…

i take the long way home…

you used to drive so fast
i really miss you
when i reminisce about
the past

i take the long way home…

i take the long way home...

Old Worn Vase

 

i feel like an expansive vase
very ornate and intricately decorated
with gold leafing and this
Greek panorama of the gods
encircling it's base...
but i have just fallen off that
pedestal
so, so, so, many times...

and God is like that one person you know
who always fixes things
and he glues me back together
and he makes me good as new
but i keep falling over
people keep knocking me to the floor
& as such i am fragile so i...
just to end up in pieces
all over again...

while i long to be loved
and cherished and used
with flowers and roses
with children running by me
carelessly joyfully
my vase stayed unused
lonely and empty

as is the way of things
i wither and grow old
parts of me lose their color
become tarnished
& no longer have the
shine of gold

Dangerous Mirage

 

i was wandering this
desert of life
& i came across a mirage
in the form of a woman
or a woman who was in
the form of a mirage?

she called to me
inviting and alluring
she explained she was in distress
a damsel with ample chest
she made a strange motion
a sort of shimmy
and accentuated her breasts...

but as i inched closer
moving in to kiss
her beautiful body began
to shimmer and shift
no longer the form of a maiden
some type of serpent...
which began to slither and hiss...

Remarking on Rats

 

It's true
i agree with you Vincent
a body mostly belly
with a light coat of fur
enough to help them scurry
but not to stay warm
from the cold

These New York winters can be one's enemy...

just like they are for the rats...

so they are forced to burrow
dig and claw
bite and gnaw
not just for food
but for a way beyond the door...

You have to let the right one in...

Lest you fail all over again...

i see you emphasized their ears
and rightfully so
as their lot in life
is to flee to and fro
not much different from myself
you might find it funny to know...

Sometimes the most precious thing in this world

is shelter from a storm...

it occurred to me your painting
doesn't capture their sounds
as they run from hole to hole
and squeak and scratch
&
claw at the latch
to my bread box
or the rubbish bin
if they could chew through glass
why they would drink
every last
drop
of my gin!
i imagine...

A world where the rats eat ice cream!

A life where I am free and I live out my dreams!

Do the rats ever become full of themselves?
Is there a rat king?
Perhaps they could use one of my metal washers
as a crown...
Do they ever leave town?
Do they too have humor?
Are there clowns?
i am sure they also have downers...
rodents who ever frown...
and just make life a misery for others...
those types sicken me...

i have observed them grow ill...

a truly sad fate to befall any mammal...

i knew the bioweapon was real
cause for a time
why they stopped visiting me
& my old worn home
no more did i hear or see them

in fact
i even found a rather large one
the size of a cat!
he looked miserable
unable to move
no more running
panting

i could tell the creature
had come to me
for mercy
my old pest
had a final request
i took my bat and gave him a whack
i tried my best
but he didn't die at first
so i had to hit him over and over
till finally i heard a sound like a
splat
he was dead.
such is the life of a rat...

Love & Steal

 

Let me love & steal
it's one of the ways i heal
it helps make my feelings real
bound by leather
scarred by steel...

i like to hit and kiss
sex with intent
or a meaningless tryst
let you pick
or i can invent
ways of making you hiss...

love is
never asking why
it's that look in your eye
the day after
the tears that dry...